"Well, she's done it. Nicola has finally found a man who deserves her and, as one of her oldest friends, I couldn't be happier for her.
I just wanted to say a few, unbiased words about what a great friend she is. No matter how far away we are, she is always there for me and always says the right thing. I hope I can do the same for her today on her most important day. We go way back to the days when her ideal man was Action Man, all muscles and no brain. Fortunately, she's grown up since then and has chosen a man who matches her in every capacity, which is a rare thing for any couple to find.
Nicola is one of the nicest people I know and I'm delighted to add John to my list of new friends. I hope that you'll be very happy together.
A toast, it's been done before but please, raise your glasses to… the bride and groom."
Sample Speech: Short and Snappy
"Okay, John, I thought I'd make a few things clear from the start! Nicola needs to use the phone for long gossip sessions with her friends about how wonderful you are and you're expected to pick up the tab. She has the right to get annoyed when you want to watch football instead of taking her to the supermarket where she will wander aimlessly up and down every aisle, even though you only came in for pizza to eat in front of the football. She will get grumpy once a month and you have to realise that this has nothing to do with hormones but is entirely down to you. Okay, so it isn't but she's a woman and has the right to behave like this.
Why? Because you married her and I'm delighted that you have. I think that the pair of you make a lovely couple and you both look stunning. It's good to see both of you make an effort for a change.
I remember the day when Nick wouldn't wear anything apart from jeans and I have a horrible feeling that she's probably got a pair under there so she can slide down the banisters later. Some things never change, even though she is a responsible bank clerk now!
So, as her best friend/sister, I'd like you to raise your glasses . . . to John and Nicola, may they always be as happy as they are today."
Sample Speech: Just a Quickie
"I'm sure you'll be delighted that, as Nicola's Chief Bridesmaid, I only have one thing to say: John and Nicola, you've thanked me for being your bridesmaid but I want to thank you for letting us all be here to share in your happiness. You really are the best friends anyone could ever hope for and you're perfect for each other. I know that you'll be really happy.
There is only one toast I could give so please join me in raising
your glasses to . . . the bride and groom."